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About Me

About Me

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Hi, I’m Elaina and I want to help you live life on your terms, find a career you love, and travel as often as you want. These are the best years of your life and you deserve to be FREE! 

 

I’ve lived, worked, and traveled to more than 60 countries, including some pretty off-the-beaten path destinations like Mongolia, Ethiopia, Nigeria, and Paraguay. I lived out of a suitcase as a full-time nomad for 5.5 years, ever since leaving my management consulting gig in New York in 2013. You can read my full story here. I’m now living my dream, settled in Bali, Indonesia, fully independent and working happily on projects that support my deepest passion! 

 

What makes my story unique is that I’ve traveled AND built a professional career, working for companies like IBM and Uber over the years. I’ve also spent long stretches of time freelancing and traveling adventurously through South America, Asia, and Africa. I now make my living helping others break out of ordinary living and get clear on their mission in life. I get paid to help people MANIFEST THEIR DREAMS like I did — how cool is that?  

 

I write about self-development, digital nomadism, charting unconventional life paths, finding jobs overseas, pursuing long-term travel, and living purposefully in a fast-paced, confusing world. There’s simply no one-size-fits-all model for creating a life you love. I’ve always done things a bit differently and I think there are SO many feasible ways for people to live “off the beaten path”. I hope my blog lets you see what’s both possible and practical.  

 

I started this blog because I want to help you find an exciting career, travel the world, break the norms, and develop yourself both personally and professionally. Drop me a line at elaina@lifebefore30.com or apply to work with me directly! 

Drop The Story: An Easy Strategy for Changing Your Life and Increasing Happiness

Posted on May 1st, 2018

If you’re looking to change careers, invite more love into your life, or even earn more money, applying this easy strategy helps overwrite old patterns and manifest new opportunities. 

I’ve started doing one simple thing lately that’s made all the difference when it comes to helping me show up in my life and increase my self-esteem.

 

It’s called dropping the story.

 

Most of us are expert story-tellers, telling ourselves constantly what kind of person we are and why we are that way. “I have low self-worth because I’ve always had to compete with my older brother.” “I’m insecure because I was harassed as a teenager.” “I can’t work for myself because I don’t have a unique offering.” “I wouldn’t dare go to that improv comedy workshop because I’m terrible at being on stage.” “I can’t dance.” 

 

These are all stories. And the common thread is they don’t serve us in the present moment. They don’t help us show up for a new lover, to get the courage to start a new business, or participate in new life experiences. These stories keep us running on old scripts.

 

The majority of the “whys” we tell ourselves about our lives are not instructive and do not warrant professional help. Your relationship with your brother, your past loves, and your old career perspectives are all in the past and whether or not they are “true” stories does not affect how you can address them now. 

 

Here are a few warning signs that you’re caught up in telling yourself a story about something.

 

  1. You’re using words like “always” or “never.”
  2. You’ve come up with reasonable-sounding logic for a negative, limiting belief.
  3. Your explanations are rooted in the past.
  4. You’re characterizing yourself (or others) statically. (‘I am like this’ instead of ‘I can become like that.’)
  5. There’s no orientation around action or change. 

 

Stories are ego-driven. They are concerned with the comfort of constructing an identity and protecting the vulnerable self.  

 

Stories make us feel safe. (It’s okay that we’re like this because something happened somewhere along the line that made us this way.) They are part of our identity. They connect dots between things in the past, manufacturing a trend line and projecting the past into a wide-open future. 

 

Here are a few more examples of common story-telling and how you can re-write the old scripts with new ones in each scenario. 

 

Career

 

The Story: “I don’t know my purpose. I don’t think I have any really special gifts. I see other people running their own businesses, but they are all well-connected and have special help. I don’t have the knowledge or background that would help me be successful.” 

 

The New Script: “I’ve been fortunate to have solid professional experience. I have a great education and I can figure anything out. I haven’t done something like this before, but I know my ability to even imagine it as a possibility means I can make it come true. I trust that I have purpose and gifts.” 

 

Self-Esteem in Daily Life

 

The Story: “I’m not as beautiful as other women, so people don’t take me as seriously at work and aren’t as interested in me when I go out with friends. I’ve always been the least beautiful person among my friends.”

 

The New Script: “It’s not the physical vessel that people are attracted to, but how much light is shining through from my inner self that captivates friends and lovers. I will take the best care of my healthy body that I possibly can and I will work to cultivate and express my inner light. I can be the most beautiful woman in the room if I am confident, smiling radiantly, and living compassionately.” 

 

Love

 

The Story: “Men don’t want commitment. I live in a city where people are too busy for each other and there’s always someone more attractive that he’ll want to be with instead of me. My standards are too high so the men I’m into never reciprocate my interest. I’m always making the effort.” 

 

The New Script: “Love and connection is abundant. Look at all the people who are in relationships. It’s happened for them and it will happen for me too. I am open and I invite love into my life. In the meantime, I will cultivate connection with everyone who walks into my life and express gratitude for every romantic experience in my past and present.” 

 

Family

 

The Story: “My family doesn’t ‘get’ me. They don’t support what I do and we’ll never be close.” 

 

The New Script: “I’m so fortunate to have living parents who want the best for me. They are trying to love me in the best way they know how. They are imperfect and so am I. I accept them and my unique relationship to them. Our dynamic is ever-evolving.”

 

Every time you catch yourself telling stories, I recommend this 5-step process:

 

  1. Recognize that you’re telling yourself a story. 
  2. Ask: Does this serve me? 
  3. Answer: No.
  4. Drop the story.
  5. Re-write the script. 

 

Don’t get caught up in figuring out why you are the way you are. Accept your perfect imperfections. Shift into a growth mindset. Express gratitude for all that is working. Don’t project past behaviors or tendencies — of yourself or others — into the future. Don’t harden self-limiting beliefs by weaving them into stories. 

 

Drop the story. Be present with what’s happening now. 

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About Me

About Me

IMG_5937

Hi, I’m Elaina and I want to help you live life on your terms, find a career you love, and travel as often as you want. These are the best years of your life and you deserve to be FREE! 

 

I’ve lived, worked, and traveled to more than 60 countries, including some pretty off-the-beaten path destinations like Mongolia, Ethiopia, Nigeria, and Paraguay. I lived out of a suitcase as a full-time nomad for 5.5 years, ever since leaving my management consulting gig in New York in 2013. You can read my full story here. I’m now living my dream, settled in Bali, Indonesia, fully independent and working happily on projects that support my deepest passion! 

 

What makes my story unique is that I’ve traveled AND built a professional career, working for companies like IBM and Uber over the years. I’ve also spent long stretches of time freelancing and traveling adventurously through South America, Asia, and Africa. I now make my living helping others break out of ordinary living and get clear on their mission in life. I get paid to help people MANIFEST THEIR DREAMS like I did — how cool is that?  

 

I write about self-development, digital nomadism, charting unconventional life paths, finding jobs overseas, pursuing long-term travel, and living purposefully in a fast-paced, confusing world. There’s simply no one-size-fits-all model for creating a life you love. I’ve always done things a bit differently and I think there are SO many feasible ways for people to live “off the beaten path”. I hope my blog lets you see what’s both possible and practical.  

 

I started this blog because I want to help you find an exciting career, travel the world, break the norms, and develop yourself both personally and professionally. Drop me a line at elaina@lifebefore30.com or apply to work with me directly! 

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I’m sure there’s a reason you landed here. Maybe we’re meant to work together and your whole life is about to flip upside down… That tends to happen with my clients as they transform from the inside out.

 

I work with extraordinary, brave, and self-inquiring souls who are ready to do the inner work required to launch them into the next huge chapter of their life. I work with people who are willing and ready to wake up and become more alive and aligned than ever before! 

 

Does any of this sound like you?

  • Successful on paper but not fulfilled inside
  • Feeling like you’re working so hard but not getting anywhere
  • Knowing you’re destined to do

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Currently in: Bali

 

Previously in: India

What’s Hot

Recent Posts

Coaching

Coaching

Hey friend, thanks for finding me!

 

I’m sure there’s a reason you landed here. Maybe we’re meant to work together and your whole life is about to flip upside down… That tends to happen with my clients as they transform from the inside out.

 

I work with extraordinary, brave, and self-inquiring souls who are ready to do the inner work required to launch them into the next huge chapter of their life. I work with people who are willing and ready to wake up and become more alive and aligned than ever before! 

 

Does any of this sound like you?

  • Successful on paper but not fulfilled inside
  • Feeling like you’re working so hard but not getting anywhere
  • Knowing you’re destined to do

Read more

Like Me on Facebook

Follow me on twitter

Follow me on twitter

Instagram

Elaina on Instagram

Please enter an Access Token on the Instagram Feed plugin Settings page.