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About Me

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Hi, I’m Elaina and I want to help you live life on your terms, find a career you love, and travel as often as you want. These are the best years of your life and you deserve to be FREE! 

 

I’ve lived, worked, and traveled to more than 60 countries, including some pretty off-the-beaten path destinations like Mongolia, Ethiopia, Nigeria, and Paraguay. I lived out of a suitcase as a full-time nomad for 5.5 years, ever since leaving my management consulting gig in New York in 2013. You can read my full story here. I’m now living my dream, settled in Bali, Indonesia, fully independent and working happily on projects that support my deepest passion! 

 

What makes my story unique is that I’ve traveled AND built a professional career, working for companies like IBM and Uber over the years. I’ve also spent long stretches of time freelancing and traveling adventurously through South America, Asia, and Africa. I now make my living helping others break out of ordinary living and get clear on their mission in life. I get paid to help people MANIFEST THEIR DREAMS like I did — how cool is that?  

 

I write about self-development, digital nomadism, charting unconventional life paths, finding jobs overseas, pursuing long-term travel, and living purposefully in a fast-paced, confusing world. There’s simply no one-size-fits-all model for creating a life you love. I’ve always done things a bit differently and I think there are SO many feasible ways for people to live “off the beaten path”. I hope my blog lets you see what’s both possible and practical.  

 

I started this blog because I want to help you find an exciting career, travel the world, break the norms, and develop yourself both personally and professionally. Drop me a line at elaina@lifebefore30.com or apply to work with me directly! 

5 Simple Strategies to Cope with Stereotypes While Traveling

Posted on June 2nd, 2014

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As a foreigner, it doesn’t matter if you’re taking a stroll through a Ugandan market, sitting in the lounge of a hostel in Bolivia, hanging out at a bar in Shanghai, or passing through the halls of a school in Kathmandu, soon enough your ears will be ringing with the question, “Where are you from?”

 

And I am as guilty of popping the question as I am at having to answer it fifty times a day. Without even thinking about it, these four words come stumbling out of my mouth in a variety of languages whenever I meet someone new. They serve as my feeble attempt to make sense of a person with whom I initially have nothing in common with except the fact that we are both standing on the same square of land on Planet Earth.

 

We all come from somewhere, and regardless of time, race, culture, age, and socioeconomic status, there seems to be an inherent level of importance placed on knowing where someone is from within the first few moments of knowing him or her. I think this is our way of developing a context around someone who is very much out of context. To varying degrees of accuracy, most of us have an idea about what any given country is like, an idea that we then use to infer what a person who comes from that country must be like.

 

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This can become problematic if the idea we have formed of a person’s place distorts the reality of who that person actually is. As such, one of the biggest challenges of being a traveler is understanding and embracing your own national identity, and coming to terms with the perception and context that may precede you as an individual as a result of that identity. Being a “good traveler” also involves not allowing your preconceived notions of a place to interfere with getting to know new people as individuals shaped by, but not enslaved to, that cultural background.

 

Because of this natural human tendency to generalize, nationals of every country face stereotypes and misunderstandings. Whether you are American or Chinese or French or German, you will eventually come across someone who has a strong and potentially misinformed opinion about your country’s politics, culture, food, laws, fashion, language, history, economics, media, or education system. Their ideas may offend you and might feel the need to defend where you come from and who you are.

 

There is no “right” or “wrong” way to deal with the stereotypes or discrimination you may encounter, whether from other travelers or locals alike, but I think there are better ways to go about engaging with these people and directing your interaction with them from potentially hostile to productive and interesting.

 

As an American, I almost always meet someone who has a strong opinion about my country, and usually a few beers is all a group needs to go from harmless “where are you from?” introductions to dissecting United States politics, inevitably putting me in an uncomfortable position as the appointed American “ambassador” of the conversation.

 

Whether swinging in Brazilian hammocks, pounding beers in Hong Kong, or sipping milk tea in Mongolian gers, I have encountered these situations worldwide. With lots of practice and patience, I have finally developed a strategy for handling difficult conversations and managing my role in fighting cultural stereotypes while traveling.

 

1. People are not poster-children. Since I know I should exhibit the traits in myself that I would like to see in others, I try to keep in mind that everyone from everywhere is an individual, not an all-encompassing poster-child of his or her country. Whether they are the first Nigerian or the two hundredth Australian I’ve ever met, I try not to allow other Nigerians or Australians that I met before influence how I come to understand this new person. I also realize that people are citizens of their governments, but that does not make them responsible or accountable for their country’s politics.

 

2.  There is an art to the debate. I have a rule to only engage in good-natured debates and do not allow myself to become defensive, which is the instinctive reaction. I try to keep the conversation light-hearted and exploratory. I ask questions to understand how the person in front of me has developed their opinion about where I come from and who I may be because of that. I readily acknowledge where there is truth in their perception and air on the side of political correctness when explaining where their ideas may have become misconstrued.

 

3. Know when to walk away. If I notice someone is unnecessarily combative and derogatory, I withdraw from the conversation, since it will only lead to arguments and perpetuating negative sentiments. My goal isn’t too change everyone’s mind, because I know that’s an impossible and pointless task, so I’m happy to separate myself from people who cannot engage in mature or open conversation about their opinions. This is definitely easier said than done.

 

4. Stay informed. One of the areas of criticism about Americans, for example, is that we are not as aware of the “outside world” as other nationalities are. I agree, and thus make a concerned effort to fight this perception by being well-informed about world history, staying abreast of current affairs in the US and around the world, and demonstrating an understanding of the country where I am traveling. This technique is good for all travelers to use, since it makes us more credible in friendly debates, less susceptible to stereotyping, and altogether more interesting to hang out with.

 

5. Make mutual respect your international anthem. Above all, I try to value the differences. We live in a breathtakingly beautiful world full of intelligent, interesting, and thoughtful people living across every border, walking down every street, and working in every city and village. I want to try to understand and respect them, and I want them to try to understand and respect me.

 

There are many things to love about being an American, and there are many things to love about being Russian, Chinese, or French. I prefer to spend my travels not tearing down the rest of the world and its people, but finding the things I enjoy, respect, and value from every person and place I encounter and bringing those things into my own life and culture.

 

With these simple techniques in mind, I have found that confronting the “where are you from?” question and the potentially sensitive nature of the conversations it can trigger has become far easier and more enjoyable, and has generally strengthened the quality of my friendships with people from all walks of life and all corners of the Earth.

 

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What stereotypes have you faced while traveling because of where you come from? How do you address conflict of ideas with other travelers or locals? Please share ideas in the comments section below.

 

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About Me

About Me

IMG_5937

Hi, I’m Elaina and I want to help you live life on your terms, find a career you love, and travel as often as you want. These are the best years of your life and you deserve to be FREE! 

 

I’ve lived, worked, and traveled to more than 60 countries, including some pretty off-the-beaten path destinations like Mongolia, Ethiopia, Nigeria, and Paraguay. I lived out of a suitcase as a full-time nomad for 5.5 years, ever since leaving my management consulting gig in New York in 2013. You can read my full story here. I’m now living my dream, settled in Bali, Indonesia, fully independent and working happily on projects that support my deepest passion! 

 

What makes my story unique is that I’ve traveled AND built a professional career, working for companies like IBM and Uber over the years. I’ve also spent long stretches of time freelancing and traveling adventurously through South America, Asia, and Africa. I now make my living helping others break out of ordinary living and get clear on their mission in life. I get paid to help people MANIFEST THEIR DREAMS like I did — how cool is that?  

 

I write about self-development, digital nomadism, charting unconventional life paths, finding jobs overseas, pursuing long-term travel, and living purposefully in a fast-paced, confusing world. There’s simply no one-size-fits-all model for creating a life you love. I’ve always done things a bit differently and I think there are SO many feasible ways for people to live “off the beaten path”. I hope my blog lets you see what’s both possible and practical.  

 

I started this blog because I want to help you find an exciting career, travel the world, break the norms, and develop yourself both personally and professionally. Drop me a line at elaina@lifebefore30.com or apply to work with me directly! 

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Currently in: Bali

 

Previously in: India

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Hey friend, thanks for finding me!

 

I’m sure there’s a reason you landed here. Maybe we’re meant to work together and your whole life is about to flip upside down… That tends to happen with my clients as they transform from the inside out.

 

I work with extraordinary, brave, and self-inquiring souls who are ready to do the inner work required to launch them into the next huge chapter of their life. I work with people who are willing and ready to wake up and become more alive and aligned than ever before! 

 

Does any of this sound like you?

  • Successful on paper but not fulfilled inside
  • Feeling like you’re working so hard but not getting anywhere
  • Knowing you’re destined to do

Read more

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